What I Would Do if I was Attacked by a Mountain Lion

by Stacey Adamson  on Monday, December 12, 2011 

It was a brisk winter evening much like tonight, in fact it was tonight. My husband Sid, you've met, asked me if I wanted to go for a run in the woods with him. I obviously didn't want to go for a run, but a walk I would enjoy. The sun was setting and I knew it wouldn't be long before it was too dark to be in the woods. We arrived and left the car, me first to get a head start while Sid harnessed the dog, and I met a woman on the path. She proceeded to tell me a not-so-short story about how she had seen a large cat up the way. By the way she said "cat" I knew what she meant. Soon Sid caught up and I made her tell him the story. He was certain by her description that it was a bobcat, or at least a mountain lion, and we went on our way. Sid really does run on these walks, so he was getting ready to take off and and I asked him, "Exactly how would you think a mountain lion would attack its prey?"

"In the back of the head," he said as he took off running with the dog, "You won't even hear it coming." When he got to the corner he yelled,"If you are attacked, FIGHT! Don't play dead, FIGHT!!!" And he was gone.

Along I was walking in the woods, pondering the situation. I had just been given instructions on how to fight off a mountain lion, in the woods alone, at dusk, by my husband, and then left to take a 2 mile walk by myself. I chuckled. I chuckled the way you do when you are in a very strange situation.

The walk continued somewhat as it always does. Squirrels crumpled the leaves as they played and looked for nuts or whatever squirrels do. Birds swooped. Invisible animals climbed around in the woods. And I heard every single thing. It occurred to me to pick up a stick, and I imagined what action I would take if I had an encounter with a big "cat". "I'll go for the eyes or throat," I thought. Geese or turkey or some bird made their noise in the distance and I wondered if they were giving a signal as birds do. No praying, no contemplating life, no composing. Just listening closely, and walking at a much faster pace than normal.

At almost the halfway point I heard Sammy-the-dog around the corner. They had caught up with me and he was barking at some animal in the woods. When Sid reached me he saw the stick and said, "Good idea" and "I saw it just around the corner". He told the story of seeing the mountain lion cub and how the momma had come out of nowhere and growled at him, and Sammy chased it, and he had a blurry picture of the baby he had taken before the momma cat had shown up. Then he ran off again, yelling that he'd see me in the car.

This was exciting! And by "Exciting" I mean "really scary!" He had actually seen the mountain lion! It had growled at him! I knew what to do if it came at me...FIGHT! And I had a stick. I found a bigger stick, more of a club actually.

And it was getting too dark to be in the woods, by myself, with my stick. And my husband had run off and left me alone...again!

At this point I actually did some contemplating. I contemplated choices I had made, and choices I would make in the near future. How would I use this club if I survived the Mountain Lion attack? What lessons I would need to teach my husband? And then silently from in front of me I see my husband and dog coming towards me. "I saw it again," Sid said in his excited, wide-eyed way. "It must have circled around. The baby was down in the river bed, and the big cat was at the edge of the woods up ahead. I thought I'd better come back to you."

"Really?" I thought outloud. "You really thought I wouldn't want to be out in the woods by myself when you've seen a mountain lion just behind me?"

"I don't think it would attack you. There are plenty of deer around if it was hungry. They usually only eat people if their natural food source isn't available. But we probably ought to get to the car anyway."

"Thanks for that," I again thought outloud. And we talked about what might be happening, where the Mountain Lion might have come from, how many there might be in the woods right now. I wasn't aware before of how informed he was about the habits and population of big cats in Missouri.

We made the final bend of the walk and approached the car. It had been a good walk for me. I made better time than ever and I suppose that's good for my fitness. We talked about that too. We realized that the cat had been there all along on every walk. I was a little disappointed about not seeing the Mountain Lion myself, now that I was safe in my car, although I really didn't want to get my face eaten. It was a good day. All had ended well.

On the car ride home I was looking at the picture again with the light on inside of the car. "What are you doing?" he wanted to know. "I'm going to send this to some of my friends," was my reply.

"Wait," he said with a funny look.

Turns out, it was really a blurry fox.

And I left my club behind in the parking lot.